This is despite my social anxiety and fear of rejection – I’m not really sure how they fit together and have been meaning to blog about that too, but that will have to wait for now.) I find it very hard to look over my life and say, , this is all towards the good” and I find it incredibly hard to say, “OK, God, I know You love me and want the best for me, so I’m just going to trust You to sort this out” particularly regarding marriage.
Of course, it’s complicated by the fact that, while we believe in Divine Providence, we Jews also believe that human effort is necessary.
There is a concept in Judaism of soul-mates, someone you are meant to marry and to be with.
Admittedly while the popular version of this concept is that you will definitely marry this person and stay married, the more serious theological versions are less definite, saying you will meet him/her and have the opportunity to marry, but you might not or it might not work out and some thinkers reject the concept in its entirety, which makes sense to me as some people do never marry.
I also find that the depression and loneliness are worst on days when I don’t go into work, like today (I’m also off all week next week as it’s half-term and I’m only contracted for term time plus two weeks in the summer), which I may have mentioned before.
I want to go for a run too, but I really don’t feel up to it, physically or emotionally, which only makes me feel worse.
Long-lasting couples manage to keep this vulnerability alive.Seeking and accepting forgiveness is the first step toward rebuilding a more secure relationship.If the relationship is of a permanent nature (parent, child, spouse), both sides must agree to change specific behavior. President, The Albert Ellis Institute You can learn to trust someone perfectly--but that's risky. You can most probably, but not certainly, trust people if they have been regularly honest up to now. President, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy After an affair, or an equally disturbing revelation, most of us don't want the truth.In Judaism, there is a conceptual difference between .This is partly from a childhood where I felt unable to trust various authority figures in my life to give me the attention and care I needed, partly because I’m a control freak and don’t like to trust myself to other people generally. (Funnily enough, in another sense I am very trusting: I’m a bit naive and generally assume other people are always telling me the truth and mean me no harm, even when others are suspicious of them.A willingness to be vulnerable is a significant feature of lasting relationships ones in which partners are allies, not foes.The need to form a mutually protective alliance is innate, according to psychoanalyst John Bowlby.Maybe one day I can tell the full story, but for now I’m just waiting and wondering if I made a huge mistake. The worst that could happen is she says “No”, or she agrees to go on a date but we have a boring hour or two in a restaurant and agree not to meet again.But someone I know and trust who also knows the woman told me it was a bad idea, which makes me panic, even though other people have told me to go for it.But, when a man consistently demonstrates his reliability, despite your more critical evaluation of his actions, he might earn your trust. To trust a partner again, betrayal must be acknowledged.These common but painful human experiences contribute to your growth and development. The wrongdoer must admit that he or she has inflicted a deep hurt, and the victim must look at what he or she could have done to make things different.