How to get back in the dating game
It’s not always easy, but when it comes to the end of a relationship, it can be useful to accept that responsibility is usually at least partly shared.
While it wouldn’t be realistic to say that every split is 50 50, it’s often the case that both members of the couple contributed in some way towards the conditions through which the relationship ended.
We’ve put together a few tips to get you across the dating start line: It’s a brave decision to get back in the ring.
It takes courage to give things a go again, especially if you’ve had bad relationship experiences in the past.
You may even feel like they actively sabotaged things.
This can be equally hard to deal with, especially if you both feel you did everything you could to save the relationship.It can be confusing knowing when we’re ‘ready’ to start dating again.You may find that a lot of people urge you to ‘get back out there’, and, of course, there may never come a time when you feel 100% confident about things.This is especially common if things ended badly, but can also apply even if things ended fairly amicably.Relationships can leave deep wounds – sometimes deeper than we realise.One thing that a lot of people can get hung up on is whose ‘fault’ the end of the previous relationship was.You may feel like you did everything to save the relationship while your partner did nothing.The first thing to say is: don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Sometimes it’s better to take things one step at a time.You might like to start by simply trying to be more social.At Relate, we commonly see single people for one-to-one counselling.Our counsellors can talk to you about your relationship history and help you think about any issues you’re finding it hard to deal with – things left over from the past and your fears for the future.