East asian women dating disparity an prejudice race relations
And I suppose I could tell you that I initially dismissed Southern Man as a romantic possibility because of his race and where he grew up--because I was uncomfortable with the idea of being an Asian American studies professor and feminist dating a white Southern man with a discernible Southern accent.In many ways what I've revealed about my own romantic and relationship practices is far too personal than what I am normally comfortable with disclosing in this space.I have been told, by white men, that they prefer dating Asian American women because of their values, because they feel they are more "feminine" than white women, more interesting looking, more exotic (yep, that word was used to my face), and that sexually speaking they were better in bed than other women (Asian American women are apparently endowed with special sexual powers from birth). But I just don't believe that anyone is immune to forces of social and cultural markers and values.I have heard Asian American women say that they are just more comfortable with white men and that they find Asian American men to be too dominating/domineering and traditional and white men treat them better. I don't believe that anyone is immune from the influence of popular culture and popular discourse.But I believe that I can't honestly write about this subject without recognizing that as much as I interrogate the politics of Asian American inter-racial relationships that I must be both critic and subject in this regard and cannot exempt myself from being influenced by these factors, even as I am constantly questioning them in my life and questioning my partner for his own beliefs about race and dating and inter-racial relationships.[The Asian woman fetish question is usually one of the first deal-breaker questions I ask when I've dated white men.It is not very well written or well conceived--the author seems to want to have it both ways, to critique American society and culture for the overtly sexualized and exoticized stereotypes of Asian American women as well as to perpetuate said stereotyping within the article itself (the writer, Ying Chu, refers to Asian women, variously as Asian babes, mail-order brides, and doll-faced Asian sylphs, to which I say WTF???!!! But it does give you an idea of part of the problem and problematics embedded in the vision of white men with Asian American women. I don't want to speak on behalf of all Asian American men (how could I?!) but my guess is that those who, like the commenter, are upset at Asian American women dating inter-racially are really upset with Asian American women dating white men.
You can say that some white men infantalize Asian women as sexual toys.
Maybe they also don't want to see Asian American women with American Indian, Latino, or African American men, and I know that there are a few ethnic nationalists who would prefer that Vietnamese Americans date other Vietnamese and Korean Americans date other Korean Americans, but my guess is that intra-Asian American dating is not really an issue with folks--it's inter-racial dating, especially with white men.
So what's wrong with Asian American women dating white men?
There are dynamics and politics involved in queer inter-racial relationships, esp.
among gay men with phrases like "rice queen" getting invoked to describe certain preferences/fetishization (word choice depends on where you fall in the debate) of Asian men by white men, but since the commenter was discussing ANGRY ASIAN MEN in the context of Ling and Lee's inter-racial marriages, I wanted to contain my comments to this particular inter-racial gendered/raced pairing, although I'd be interested in any readers chiming in with their own queer inter-racial comparisons]Interestingly enough, there is a article titled "The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women" [tip of the hat to Angry Asian Man].