Dirty seduction and dating secrets of a pickup artist
The depth of subjects covered during the course belied the sleazy promotional photos of JT and his students, bathed in the sharp light of a camera flash, sucking face and embracing mostly white, leggy women at clubs and bars, as displayed on his dating company website, ABCs of Attraction. It was brutal that my market value in the dating world was non-existent.” Things changed when he became a student of Mystery, the infamous, funny-hat-wearing pickup artist who was immortalized in Neil Strauss’ book . It was the first time I ever thought that talking to girls is a learnable skill.” He gave himself the nickname the Asian Playboy and started a blog detailing his successes and failures — a kind of “Sex and the City” chronicle for Asian men.
As a Filipino American woman and feminist, I had a problem with these photos. The lessons, which encompassed psychology and self-improvement, changed his life. His recreational pickup practice turned into a profession when he answered a call from a Chinese woman who begged him to help her son, who was getting harassed by neo-Nazis in Toronto.
Can a pickup artist actually make men into better, more confident versions of themselves? “Just fighting racism and being a role model to other Asian men.” But by 2005, he’d started his company. They had differing levels of experience with women, from limited exposure to a few coming off long term relationships.
“If you want the girl of your dreams, you have to be the man of her dreams,” JT said, during his lectures. Throughout the weekend’s bootcamp, the eight men in attendance actually changed. Their names have been changed to protect their identity.
Are white women the ultimate, idealized dating goal? He helped his first student gain confidence to deter his bullies along with the skills to talk to girls.
Aren’t pickup artists inherently scammy and sleazy? But I’m the wife to another Filipino, and the sister of five brothers, one of whom is comically inept with women, and so I came with an open mind. “I never really thought of making this into a career,” said JT. A doctor, a scientist, and everything in between, they made up various ethnicities from Filipino to Chinese. They were of varying levels of attractiveness and fitness, some handsome, some overweight.
There were instructions: “Body language is more important than what you say.” “If you feel nervous, wiggle your toes.
He would approach women but couldn’t sustain a conversation. And whenever I approached the bar for a drink, men — white, black, and Asian — would try to kino me. Despite being subjected to the same maneuvers myself in the club, it was actually gratifying to see JT’s guys approach women, fall, and dust themselves off again — and then succeed. Looking at white, Asian, and Hispanic women: “These three types of women only respond well to white men.There’s an infinite supply of desperate horny men.” “Nice guys. It’s okay to be polarizing.” They also did “kino exercises,” a PUA classic, where the students practiced getting a woman’s attention by turning her shoulder to pivot towards them.They all practiced on Katie and the trainers, who corrected them on their touch, approach, and all the cues of the body.A tall and shy Chinese student talked to the most girls during the group’s first nightclub outing. He moves like a man completely sure of himself — a turn-on for some women. There was Eugene, the balding Chinese scientist with the heavy Fresh Off the Boat (FOB) accent. Derrick was a cute Korean American who had traveled to the boot camp from Northern Virginia and had told no one about his weekend plans.On the next night out, another student, who had a halo of scruffy black hair around his bald head, underwent a makeover, danced with girls, and managed to score a phone number. Often clothed in a sports coat with a dress shirt unbuttoned almost mid-chest, his hair styled into a small quiff, JT has a round, open face and is stockily built. He is 35, from Los Angeles, and Vietnamese American. A skilled flirt, he doesn’t let his physical attributes deter him. He came in wearing a wrinkled military-style shirt that made him look like a reject from the Sgt. He was coming off a long-term relationship and was ready to branch out beyond dating other Koreans.Two hours in, JT deemed the men ready to hit the field. That night, the DL on Delancey Street on the Lower East Side was full of couples, packs of drunk single chicks coming off work, men prowling in groups, and us.I met up there with my friend Emily Chu, who is Chinese American, pretty, and a lesbian, and who was just as excited and curious about the outing as I was. A few were brushed off by women; the the trainers stood by to quickly give advice to the rejected students. I had greasy bangs (I was on a no-shampoo kick) and I thought I looked rather innocuous with jeans, leather jacket, and my heavy Harvard Bookstore bag slung over my shoulder. Fail better.” If it had not been for the pickup scene, JT would have probably fulfilled his childhood dream and trained to be an astronaut, instead of teaching Asians the finer points of approaching women, seduction, dating, and grooming. His company’s mission dovetails with certain facets about being yellow in a Western hegemony, where white men are at the top of the social and economic pecking order. The class’s methods and language were taken straight from the pickup artists’ world. This was in a Manhattan conference room on Valentine’s Day, and JT was running a weekend-long bootcamp with a simple mission: to help Asian men get some skin in the dating game, and maybe even get laid.He went to prom by himself, before jetting off to major in aerospace engineering at the Florida Institute of Technology. Henry, the tall shy guy from mainland China, had the same deep voice as Dolph Lundgren.After college, he worked as a subcontractor for NASA and the Air Force — literally as a rocket scientist, he said — and settled in Los Angeles. One student, Ken, was Jewish — and was taking the course a second time.