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But sometimes, like when I encounter a well-dressed family man with a mutual love for certain breakfast cereals, I wonder if I am failing my people.After all, 50 years ago in many states it was still illegal for us to marry anyone who was not also black. Although race relations are still far from perfect, I acknowledge the steps toward inclusion that we’ve made.As a black woman, I wanted to be seen as attractive to more than just black men.
Meanwhile, throughout high school and college, the few black men I knew found my blackness as subpar to theirs.
My experiences date back as early as middle school, when I was infatuated with a black classmate for three years.
That all came to a screeching halt when he, fully aware of my crush on him, teased me in front of my friends at my 13th birthday party.
Even when I have expressed romantic interest in black guys, it has always been a futile effort.
That was perhaps the most frustrating aspect of my well-meaning friends’ advice.