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Plus, unlike men, said Fran Walfish, a Beverley Hills psychotherapist, “a woman’s ego cannot bear to tolerate a man using her for her money.She needs to know she is loved — rich or poor —flaws and all.” Gold-digging, certainly, isn’t the preserve of one gender.Mairead Molloy, married to husband no.2, a Frenchman, prides herself on being able to spot the eligible mid-life male.“They’re sharper, crisper, edgier - in sartorial terms, very Savile Row.” And what hope for this band of super-rich women hoping to catch such a fish in a very bijou dating pool?“I feel as if I’m the man in the relationship – he even puts his head on my shoulder – and it’s starting to really irritate me. “I dated this lovely guy who was interested in literature and poetry, just like I am, but in the end he couldn’t cope with the fact I owned a pile in the Cotswolds without a mortgage.He found it emasculating to take a woman out who was richer than he was.” Melanie, an elfin mother-of-four who looks years younger than her age, says the peril of being rich is that it can actually put many men off.When it comes to relationships with dot-com billionaires, pre-nups are becoming passe, and post-nups have become commonplace.
Given she doesn’t need to remarry to remain living in the manner to which she’s become accustomed, what is she looking for? "It’s so sexless, when really I’d like to find a man I can dive into bed with. It’s everything I’d look for in a husband, perhaps, but minus the financial security.” But how do you find a man who isn’t a gold-digger, isn’t intimidated by you, doesn’t send you down a probably doomed cougar path (Sam Taylor-Johnson may be flourishing, but it didn’t work for Demi Moore), and isn’t too much of a financial mismatch?
Alone, post-divorce in her big empty house, with her two children away at university, she was initially dazzled - not by the riches, but by the attention he lavished on her. “He likes watching Gogglebox and Downton with me, whereas my ex-husband, who’s more intellectual, used to storm out of the room in a rage.
And he’s always giving me advice on what to wear and offering to walk the dog late at night.” Six months in, however, the relationship is starting to sour. It only works when we’re on our own.” Then there’s Melanie, 54, another wealthy divorcée, who having briefly dated a string of younger suitors in the immediate aftermath of her divorce – “They made me feel that I wasn’t all ropey and leathery and bitter” – is now dating more “age-appropriate men”; only to find that her money intimidates them.
This can make meeting your special soul mate who is interested in a lasting relationship a difficult challenge.
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